Baby Steps

There are times in our lives when the love of God collides with the reality of our lives and grabs us by the heart, or at least there should be. A few months ago I began praying a prayer that God has answered in a surprising way. As Chris and I began our new ministry I asked, "God show me your heart. Purify my desires and make me love what you love." His response has been like a tidal wave. I'm being washed pure and I'm learning that what I thought I knew about God, me, and life was just barely the tip of the ice burg.

If you've been following this blog or have had any conversations with me lately you know I've been grappling with God's heart for the fatherless and broken, particularly Serbian orphans. I wrote about it as my heart began awakening to God's voice calling me to respond to that brokenness and pondered what he would have me do. I prayed, I cried, I researched, I talked and the truth became clearer as I listened. What began as a whisper has become a full piece orchestra.

I knew it in my bones. I had to go. Love is compelling me and I can't turn away. On Friday I spoke to the Christian and Missionary Alliance's short term missions office, Envision, about my desire to care for disabled orphans in Serbia. The response was incredibly positive and encouraging, the director heard God's heart and was moved as well. The Envision ministry has never been in this area of the world and doesn't have a program like this in place so we're starting from the ground up.

The first step is evaluating the situation in person. The director will make some contacts and do a little research to find out who would be willing to go with me to visit the orphanages. I should hear back in the next couple of weeks and hopefully we will plan an evaluation trip from there.

I'm excited and prayerful. This is just the first step of a long and difficult journey, a journey that will take me into the heart of dependency on Jesus like I've never known. My hands are aching to stroke human suffering with borrowed love, love that comes from the Father's heart and is not my own. I know too that once I've stepped into a river of grace, reaching out to broken hearts, there's no turning back.

You, my friends, have been such a source of encouragement as I have searched out God's path! Your response has been gracious and your prayers a gift. Thank you! As I baby step past the dreaming stage into doing may I request your continued prayer support? I would so appreciate you joining me in asking God to form the right team to travel to Serbia to evaluate the situation. That God would open doors so that we would have access to the most needy children. That the directors and staff of these orphanages would be open to our offers of help and the love we long to show to the children and staff alike. That government officials would be willing to have us participate in the care of their orphans and would be receptive to the love of Jesus as well. That all of this would happen in a timely manner and that I would patiently trust God to accomplish more than I can even imagine to glorify his name.

Thank you friends! I will keep you posted as God unfolds his plans. I'd love to hear from you. Have you prayed by faith for more of God, for a glimpse into the holy flame of God's heart? If so, how has he responded?