Made for another world

"If I discover within myself a desire which no experience in the world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." C. S. Lewis

Thursday, August 23, 2012

My First Homeschool Post and a Confession

Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do, even if you don't want to do it. And sometimes that thing you're dreading turns into a blessing.

A Homeschool Post?

I never thought I would be posting about homeschool. I'm not a mommy blogger and have never aspired to be. I mean, I am a mommy who blogs but not usually about mommy stuff. Anyhow. I like kids fine, mine better than most. But I'm too independent and selfish to like them much, just being honest here. (Which is why being able to write posts like this and this are a testimony to God's transforming power.) I went to college dreaming of the mission field on my own, thank you very much, and certainly no kids. Of course God is a heart changer. He has softened my heart to all kinds of people, including my own children.

I was homeschooled once upon a time. It feels like a life time ago. I guess in some ways it was. When I had kids I thought I would most likely homeschool as well, for lots of reasons not the least of which were good memories and familiarity. But when it came time for it I couldn't do it. Circumstances weren't right, my heart wasn't in it, I certainly didn't feel called. Ultimately I knew I would be homeschooling out of guilt, and I don't stick with things out of guilt, I know that from experience. So off to kindergarten went little Max, and he loved it. So did I.

Time for a Change

Fast forward three years and two moves later. Things have changed. I knew homeschool was always an option, and each year we've assessed what's best for our family, listening for how God was leading. This year something was different. I wasn't satisfied with Max's school experience, and he was unhappy. Somehow I knew it was time. I had known I would just know, and I did.

Previously when I mentioned homeschool to Max he was very resistant, this year he asked to stay home. Before, the thought of homeschooling made me break out into a cold sweat. This year I feel relaxed, excited, confident. There are pros and cons to public school, private school, and homeschool. Just like everything else in life. There's no need to go into them, I think most families know what they are, they have to live with them up close and personal.
Our first day of "school"! 
I think one of the things that made this year different, the thing that had changed most, is me. I'm really not concerned with other people's expectations anymore. I'm also pretty confident that my curious, loving, creative son will mature into a wonderful young man with even the most basic coaxing. Age is an awesome thing, as much as we may fight it at times, it certainly does have it's benefits and one of those is perspective.

As I mentioned before though I'm a pretty selfish person, I know it's shocking. Devoting myself to the education of my children felt like a sacrifice. Somehow though, as I've yielded to God's prompting, what felt like a sacrifice has become a privilege. I'm honored that I get to disciple my son and daughter throughout the day. I'm excited about learning with them. (In the last two days I've learned things about George Washington and The Pledge of Allegiance I had never known, or at least had forgotten!)
Our second day of school, time to work!


There will be hard days, it happens if you're breathing. And really good days. I think that's a fair exchange. My goal this year is for our family to know Jesus better, to love each other more deeply and to walk in the truth. If I even scratch the surface of that I will be pleased.

Our third day of school, craft time!
So there you have it, my first homeschool blog post. No cool crafts, play-doh recipes, or time management tips. No controversial debate. Just a heartfelt desire for my selfish heart to bend in love to God's yielding for the good of others.

What circumstances in your life have started out as a sacrifice and ended as a blessing?

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