Joy

Joy! I'm not a perfect person, not even a great one. The state of the world, America, the church bewilders and concerns me. Parenthood is a scary responsibility. I miss my family. I haven't had enough sleep in the last week, I'm tired. Relationships are hard work. But today I feel joy! Why?! I guess because in spite of, in the midst of all the assaults and challenges of life, today, Jesus has drawn my eyes to himself. I say Jesus drew my eyes, not that I turned my eyes to him because I don't think I'm actually strong enough to lift my eyes from the mire of this world and my self preoccupation to his precious face. It's his irresistible love, his sweet voice that calls me in the first place. Jesus is my joy; the source of it, cause of it, reason for it. What freedom to know that the responsibility of my personal transformation, the needs of this world, the perfection of Christ's bride, parenthood, the cares of life don't rest on me. The weight of self is removed when our eyes truly focus on him. Yay, I'm not really that interesting anyway. I'd much rather be preoccupied with him than me. The joy comes when we lean in close to him and everything else, especially ourselves, fades away. Ahhhh. Now if I can only remember that tomorrow...