nana nana nana nana batman!

Maggie came in to the kitchen a couple of days ago saying nana nana nana nana batman! It tickled me so much and I was able to catch it on video. I don't know how she knew how to sing it, she's never watched the batman shows. I guess it's just from being Max's little sister!

Word

It pulses, warm and alive. Inviting me to open and yield myself to it's power. Is it magic? No, it's better. The Word; inspired, bread, sharp, cleansing, purifying, powerful, living word. A drink that at once quenches down to the very fiber and yet leaves a thirst stronger than before. The line between person and paper blur. The veil is pulled back and more is seen than before, the end will never be found. Power found not in letters, ink, paper but in a Person. Points to prove, arguments to win, sides to take are irrelevant. Truth is the side, choose to join or not. The invitation issued is to a death, mine; and to a life, his. Plunging in over my head I'm consumed, the word soaks in to my very soul. Words leap off of the page and come to life in my heart.

Glory

Shh... Can you hear it?! Listen closely and you'll hear the echo of a mysterious, ancient event. One that happened before time and yet at the fullness of time. Angel wings rustle and fold, voices hush in breathless anticipation. Limitless, Creator God is poised to dress in skin, to wear a human tent and walk around with his creation. His heart beat is to rescue the son's of men, his plan to show them his glory and woo them back. Mary sleeps, trusting, faithful. DNA bends again to the will of God, quietly he slips into his earthly tabernacle, indwelling flesh, indwelling Mary. Nine months later after scandal and the murmurs of another complaining generation... a Son is born. Heaven erupts in awe and wonder! Glory! God's glory dwelling once again with man, no longer in an earthly tent made by men wandering in the desert. This time in a tent of God's own making, fulfillment, mysterious plan, flesh. John 1:14 "The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth." This Christmas lets remember the mysterious indwelling Jesus brings. God dwelt in human flesh so that he might dwell in us. Glory!

New Life vs. New Moon

I've never been one to avoid a controversy or been called a shrinking violet. So, I'm going to jump into a topic that has caused me some concern for a while. First let me say that God's call of holiness on my life is something that I take very seriously and I'm committed to. Let me also say that even though that's the case I struggle terribly with the human tendency to gratify my own desires, at times making excuses for my actions (just ask my husband). But I don't want to be that way. I want to draw a deep line in the sand and stand firmly on the side of holiness. For me to be successful in the pursuit of holiness there are a few things that I believe I need to do. First I need to daily open myself up to the cleansing of the word, the Holy Spirit uses the word to shine a spotlight on every area of my life that needs transformation. In times of prayer I need to be honest, with God but also with myself. I need to submit to his correction and co-operate with the work of the Holy Spirit's transformation of my heart. I also believe I need to listen to people who will point out things in my life that don't honor God or set me apart as holy. It's painful, I don't like it (once again just ask my husband), but it's so necessary if I'm going to live a righteous life. I say that because I don't want anyone reading this to think I believe I have arrived or have any right to preach a sermon I don't need to apply to myself daily. I humbly say that I want to receive correction, painful though it may be, when it's needed. Feel free in the future to remind me of these words when necessary.

So here's what is burdening my heart. I'm confused by the rush of Christians to the movie theater to see the New Moon movie. I'm even more concerned by parents allowing their kids to see the movie. I don't understand Christian's thirst for entertainment that contains sexually explicit, violent, immoral behavior much less supernaturally corrupt themes. I admit I've watched a movie or two in the last month that I regret and it has caused me to re-evaluate my standards. If a life of purity is what we as believers are striving for then I believe we have to feed ourselves a pure diet. Philippians 4:8 (NLT), "Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise."

In Colossians Paul tells of his prayer for the believers. He is praying for them to be strong with God's power and he concludes his prayer saying, "May you be filled with joy, always thanking the Father. He has enabled you to share in the inheritance that belongs to his people, who live in the light. For he has rescued us from the kingdom of darkness and transferred us into the Kingdom of his dear Son, who purchased our freedom and forgave our sins." Colossians 1:11b-14 (NLT) Can I have a hallelujah?! Talk about an exciting drama unfolding. The king gives his own perfect son so that we, impoverished beggars serving a wicked slave master, can not only have freedom but also share in the inheritance of the Son. From darkness to light, from death to life. Why look back on that dark world that was once our prison? Out of honor for God I think we should not look on evil things as entertaining. His price for purchasing us from such evil was too great.

God calls Satan our enemy, the deceiver, the father of lies. Life is not a game to him, the stakes are high. He's mean and he wants to win, he will use any means he can to deceive and destroy. 1 Peter 5:8 (NIV) says, "Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." I've heard it said that the Twilight series is just a love story and they're not really bad vampires because they don't drink human blood. Can we be honest here and speak the truth. That flimsy excuse doesn't stand up to scripture. It's not a love story, it's a lust story. The Father of Lies would want you to think they're nice vampires, he always puts a little goodness in with his evil to make it more palatable. Evil is evil.

In Deuteronomy God is preparing his people to enter the promised land. He's giving them instructions and reminding them of who he's called them to be, a people that reflect the Most High God's holiness to the nations around them, a task not unlike our own. Deuteronomy 18:9-14 (NLT), “When you arrive in the land the Lord your God is giving you, be very careful not to imitate the detestable customs of the nations living there. For example, never sacrifice your son or daughter as a burnt offering. And do not let your people practice fortune-telling or sorcery, or allow them to interpret omens, or engage in witchcraft, or cast spells, or function as mediums or psychics, or call forth the spirits of the dead. Anyone who does these things is an object of horror and disgust to the Lord. It is because the other nations have done these detestable things that the Lord your God will drive them out ahead of you. You must be blameless before the Lord your God. The nations you are about to displace consult sorcerers and fortune-tellers, but the Lord your God forbids you to do such things.” If these things, in which I think we can lump vampires and werewolves, are horrifying and disgusting to God then not only are they something we as holy people shouldn't engage in they are also things we shouldn't entertain or please ourselves with. The Holy Spirit is resident in our very beings and he is at war with all things that are unholy. Out of respect and love we shouldn't submit him to watching as we entertain ourselves with the very things he rescued us from in the first place and is seeking to destroy.

Holiness comes at a price. Our original purchase into holiness was the death of the beloved Son and our lifestyle of holiness is death to ourselves. In Ephesians 4:17-18 & 5:8-9 Paul says,"With the Lord's authority let me say this: Live no longer as the ungodly do, for they are hopelessly confused. Their closed minds are full of darkness...For though your hearts were once full of darkness, now you are full of light from the Lord, and your behavior should show it! For this light within you produces only what is good and right and true."

These words are tough ones, ones I have in no way lived out to the fullest, but I want to. So, lets cast off darkness and live in the light together.

Psalm 119

I've been enjoying Psalm 119 lately. It's long and full of honest thoughts and pleadings. I feel when I read it as if I'm eavesdropping on a conversation the psalmist is having with God. An ongoing, all day or maybe even lifelong conversation. I love it because it reflects some of my own feelings and struggles as well as what I want my heart attitude to be. One of my favorite sections of this psalm is between 71-77 "The suffering you sent was good for me, for it taught me to pay attention to your principles. Your law is more valuable to me than millions in gold and silver! You made me; you created me. Now give me the sense to follow your commands. May all who fear you find in me a cause for joy, for I have put my hope in your word. I know, O Lord that your decisions are fair; you disciplined me because I needed it. Now let your unfailing love comfort me, just as you promised me, your servant. Surround me with your tender mercies so I may live, for your law is my delight."

Can you honestly say today that what you delight in is God's law, his word? It isn't my natural tendency but the more time I spend in his word the more I find my delight there. Don't you hear in his writing such a humble heart. He is fully aware of his reality. He is a small (though loved) man and God is supreme. Without God's discipline, provision, mercies and commands he would self destruct, and so would I.

Potato Soup

I made a delicious potato soup recently and thought I'd share the recipe. It perfect for crisp fall days.Herbed Potato Soup

Ingredients:
2 medium potatoes, peeled and diced
2 cups of water
1 large onion (I used half)
1/4 cup butter, cubed
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp dried thyme
1/4 tsp dried rosemary, crushed
1/4 tsp pepper
1 1/2 cups milk

Directions:
Place potatoes and water in a large saucepan; cook over medium heat until tender. Meanwhile, in a large pot, saute onion in the butter until tender. Stir in the flour, salt, thyme, rosemary and pepper. Gradually add milk while stirring. Bring to a boil; cook and stir for 2 minutes. Add potatoes with cooking liquid; heat through.

Brushing those teeth

It's the simple things in life that bring such pleasure! Who knew brushing your teeth could be such fun but Maggie loves it. She's got really clean teeth because they are brushed several times a day!

Trust is worship

This post is long overdue, but I suppose better late than never. Some of you know about the physical challenges I've been experiencing for the last two and a half months, for others this will be news to you. I've been waiting for the right time to write about what I've experienced but I don't know that there ever is a right or good time. Regardless, I feel ready now.

My body started betraying me in August, although there were signs earlier had I known what to look for. At first it was the feeling that something wasn't quite right. I was tired, couldn't remember things as well, but I'm a mom since when haven't I been tired. By the second week of August intense dizziness and tingling in my hand began. I was feeling old and worn out. I experienced a tired I couldn't push through. The dizziness at times was so extreme that I just wanted to lie on the floor to make the room stop moving. But you can't always lie on the floor in the middle of church. Sometimes it made me nauseous. The odd tingling and sensory changes were disturbing. My left hand was affected most. My finger tips would feel like they'd gone to sleep and then my whole hand. I dropped things a lot. Sometimes it felt like little bugs crawling along my scalp or in my calves. The severe dizziness gave way to the feeling of occasional lightheadedness or off balance. The sensory change became permanent in my left hand. I felt like I was in a fog and had a hard time remembering things or following directions. Then the really scary symptoms set in. My legs became so weak, sore and hard to use I had a hard time walking. Some days I could hardly lift my feet and couldn't feel the bottoms of them. It didn't feel like my legs were my own anymore. I had been walking 2 to 4 miles several times a week, and loved it. By the end of August I could barely walk a few blocks. Some days I struggled to get out of bed.

I had an appointment with a neurologist at the end of September. I was suspecting MS. He felt there was reason to look for MS given my symptoms and ordered two MRIs and some blood work. I had an appointment with him this past week to discuss the findings of the tests. There was no sign of MS in the MRIs and the blood work indicated slightly elevated B6 levels in my body. Toxic levels of vitamin B6 cause nerve damage and some of the symptoms are very similar to MS. When I initially heard from his office, a few weeks before my follow up appointment, that my MRI's were negative for signs of MS and my B6 levels were elevated I was relieved and believed it was an easy answer. I have even seen improvement in some of my symptoms since I stopped taking supplements. However, when I talked to the neurologist this week it doesn't appear to be the easy answer I thought. My B6 levels were 26, the upper limit is 21, he considered this only slightly elevated. He said he would expect to see higher levels in someone who is struggling to walk and had the symptoms I was showing and has seen levels as high as 70. So, he believes the B6 certainly caused some symptoms but is only a piece of the puzzle, not the answer. Although I didn't show signs of MS in the MRIs he's not completely ready to rule out MS and may yet do a spinal tap to check for signs in my spinal fluid. He also wants to test for other auto immune diseases. So, while I'm not at square one I'm not much past it either.

At times I feel anxious and ready to know what I'm facing. Who is this silent foe? I want to know if my life is going to change permanently or is it something with an easy cure. I'm ready to know. There are still so many unanswered questions. As far as the 'why me' question though, it doesn't exist. God has so graciously prepared my heart for this journey. I have told God all along, and still do, that however he wants to use my body to bring himself glory I'm for it. I recently finished re-reading my favorite book, "Hinds Feet on High Places". What a reminder of the beautiful work suffering produces in our lives when we yield to his purposes and plan. I know that there is work to be done in my heart, my marriage, my family and hopefully in my church if I yield to God's plan of suffering. Not to mention the obvious truth that my life is no longer my own since I've participated in Jesus death and resurrection. Or that God is God and I'm not, if he's trustworthy I don't even want to question what comes from his hand, I trust it. In the midst of the uncertainty and discomfort I'm learning to offer up the sacrifice of worship. Worshiping in the darkness is an act of trust and I believe there is no greater way to worship than trust. I can already see the Holy Spirit using my health to prune and refine me. My heart's desire is to bare my heart to that work with abandon. I'm learning that my health really isn't the point, God's glory is. He has invited us to participate in bringing him glory and he will use any means possible to do that. He's been teaching me these truths for the last couple of years and now I feel like I'm putting them to the test, it's exciting!

I'll keep you updated on the news I receive about my health, as well as what God is teaching me. I know you understand that in my situation it's not uncommon to get tons of advice on my health. As much as I know the advice is well meant it can be overwhelming to receive regularly from many different sources. However, your encouragement and prayers for endurance are most welcome!