Sunday, September 20, 2009
I met Chris Gambill when I was 19 years old. I noticed him because he looked like somebody who was somebody. He was the president of student government at our college at the time. Chris always walked quickly like he was going somewhere important, dressed sharp, and was a senior. I was impressed. I made sure I was introduced through a mutual friend and put myself directly in his path. I've never been shy.
Eleven years later I've learned a thing or two about life and relationships. I think one reason I was attracted to Chris was because he was successful, capable, talented. Every woman wants security and safety, we're drawn to the promise of being cared for. You know what I found out though? Chris is a man. And like all men, he has limitations. I really think the expectation of some young women, me included, is that the white night is an immortal hero that really does exist and we actually expect to marry him. Needles to say the first year was turbulent. I learned something really important through that discovery though, Jesus is our perfect hero and he can deliver, which is what he wanted me to know all along.
In the years I've been married I've continued to learn right expectations about God and Chris. Setting your husband up to fill the shoes of God is wrong and painful but I have a feeling it happens to us wives more often than we'd care to admit. Putting the balance back the way it belongs is liberating to us and our husbands. As much as an immortal hero may be appealing, a real man is a much better fit.
Chris walks a little slower now, wears bluejeans and has a real job. I'm still impressed. I'm honored to have shared this journey of discovery with him for so many years. I've seen him at his worst and his best and he's seen me through more than I can tell. He may not always feel like it but I still think he's successful, capable and talented. I'm filled with gratitude to have married my first love. I never imagined I would learn so much about God through one person, or so much about myself. Who knows what the next eleven years and beyond will hold!