An Invitation to Community!

Are you looking for community? 

A place to talk about your struggles, fears, questions, successes, and dreams? We can all use a place to be encouraged, supported, and uplifted as we discover and live in our purpose!

Today I'm excited to extend the invitation to become a part of just such a community at Allied Women! We would love to have you join in the conversation on Mentoring, Blogging, Finances, Home and Family, and Pursuing your Purpose. Registering is simple and free, and will gain you access to the community forums on these topics. You can also find out more information about upcoming classes, check out available resources, and read encouraging blog posts.

Click on the button below to hop over to Allied Women and join the community today! I look forward to seeing you there!

Women Who Inspire ~ The Sisterhood

Sister - (from dictionary.com)

adjective 

12. being or considered a sister; related by or as if by sisterhood: sister ships.
13. having a close relationship with another because of shared interests, problems, or the like.

I have been undeniably blessed by precious women in my life. Some close family, some that have lived before my time, some have rubbed me hard smoothing away jagged edges, some young, some old, some who know my heart deeply and still love me, some I've never met. But all sharing a common relation, fellowship birthed from the blood of Jesus. Sweet family. A gift. These women have so energized my Christian walk I just had to introduce some of them to you. (I hope you will post a comment and tell me about the women who have blessed your life as well.)

This week's sister:

It has been over a year since I've written in this series about sisters. I thought it was time to bring it out and dust it off. 

Today's sister is Carol Matthews. Dr. Matthews was my psychology professor in college. Looking back over fifteen years I imagine at the time she wasn't older than I am now. With long golden hair, trim figure, and pleasant smile she stood out from the other professors at school, mostly older men in suits. I admired Dr. Matthews. She was soft spoken, clever, and funny. 

There's an encounter with Dr. Matthews that will always stand out to me as one of the most powerful conversations of my young life at the time. It taught me the weight of words and of other people's expectations. I wrote down her words in my journal, I wish I knew where it was to reference, but I remember the basics of the conversation.  

It was during an interviewing for a school newspaper article, I don't even remember the story now. I felt that I had let her down academically on a recent test and my response had not been gracious. So I began our conversation with an apology. She stopped me and made it clear that there wasn't a problem between us. In fact she went on to say, "I expect you to go on in life and do great things. I have taught hundreds of students every year. I can't remember them all and only a handful ever standout. You're one of them. I expect to hear you have done great things."

I was flabbergasted, and so blessed. I have never forgotten the gift of her statement. When I quit school and felt like a failure, when I worked part time at an oil refinery in Pennsylvania, when I lived in the basement of friends with just enough to make ends meet, I remembered those words. I wanted to live up to them, to make them a prophecy that became a reality.

As I've matured I've realized that the definition of great things can change. What I thought was a great thing at 19 and what I think of as a great thing now are very different. I don't know what Carol Matthews had in mind when she spoke such a benediction of encouragement over me. But I did learn that when we speak belief, hope, and high expectation over someone they will yearn to live up to it. 

I wish I could thank Dr. Matthews all these years later for encouraging an awkward, inexperienced girl. I doubt she would remember me now. But I imagine an appropriate thanks would be to seek out opportunities to do the same with my words for others. 

Has there been someone in your life who spoke words of hope or blessing, encouragement or belief over you that have made a difference to your heart? I'd love to hear about it!

Embracing New Opportunities

I'm excited to announce the launching of a dream, Mercy's Refuge! A movement dedicated to seeing people with God's eyes of mercy and partnering with him to offer practical love. Many of you have followed the journey God has taken me on, into his heart of love for the weak and orphaned, all the way around the world to Serbia. I am so thankful for your companionship on that journey, your prayers and gifts have meant a great deal! God's not finished with me yet and I'm still on the journey deeper into his heart of mercy for the Serbian people, and people with disability. But the journey has grown to include others and taken on a life of it's own. So I will be blogging about that journey at Mercy's Refuge blog. I would love for you to visit and see what God is doing!

My goal now for this site is to focus again on mentoring, the sisterhood of Christian women, and our journey home. I'm sure Serbia will come up again, it's a huge part of my life, but in this setting I intend for it to play a supporting role and not take center stage.

One of the reasons for this is because I've recently been asked to join a team of bloggers in an exciting new venture! Allied Women is a site for women to come together in faith, community, and purpose. In the next few weeks they will be offering some exciting tools for women who desire to find purpose and be supported in their walk of faith. I'm honored that they've asked me to be a part of their vision by hosting a forum and classes on mentoring!

I hope you will continue to journey with me as God works out his amazing grace in my life and opens new opportunities to follow him. Stay tuned to learn more about the launching of Allied Women's Communities and visit Mercy's Refuge to see how God continues to lead me to love Serbia!

Women who Inspire: The Sisterhood

Sister -  (from dictionary.com)
adjective

12. being or considered a sister; related by or as if by sisterhood: sister ships.

13. having a close relationship with another because of shared interests, problems, or the like.

I have been undeniably blessed by precious women in my life. Some close family, some that lived before my time, some have rubbed me hard smoothing away jagged edges, some young, some old, some who know my heart deeply and still love me, some I've never met. But all sharing a common relation, fellowship birthed from the blood of Jesus. Sweet family, a gift. These women have so energized my Christian walk I just had to introduce some of them to you. (I hope you will post a comment and tell me about the women who have blessed your life.)

This week's sister:

I've  met few women with such clarity and wisdom in my life as Julie Conley. As a young pastor's wife in a challenging church ministry, Julie was a God send, literally. Her husband was in a leadership position in our church's denominational district. Graciously they walked through a difficult season with us, leading, praying, bringing peace.  

Julie was my first real life, adult mentor. Her skill at finding the pulse of a situation and drawing out truth amazed me. Ten years later I look back out our conversations and prayer times and realize more than ever the skill she had as a mentor.

Her warm eyes would twinkle as she talked about Jesus, you could tell she was in love. That love spilled out on me, infectious. Her response to problems, prayer. She was bold in faith as she approached her Heavenly Father with requests, and humble in her need. 

I often came to her befuddled, a vague sense about a situation but lacking clarity. She asked me questions, shared her experiences and gradually the light would dawn. There were moments I was frustrated she didn't just answer my question or give me the solution I sought. But I became used to her way of leading me to the truth instead of just telling me. 

Now I attempt to model her wisdom of leading a woman's heart to the truth instead of answering her basic questions. Though our contact is sporadic and limited by time and distance Julie still influences me. I remember her questions and that at the heart of it all she was leading me to the truth of a Person and not just a solution to a problem. How thankful I am for her influence in my life!

How are you doing in this area? When a young woman, a  friend, or your children come to you with a struggle do you give them a pat answer to a problem? Or do you help flesh out the real issue leading, by insightful questions, to the person of Jesus?

{I write more about this in my ebook Sister to Sister; A Mentor's Handbook. Download your copy here for free}

5 Components in Healthy Mentoring - A Guest Post

This Tuesday at Introverted Church I had the opportunity to share my thoughts on a subject dear to my heart, mentoring. Adam McHugh, author of Introverts in the Church graciously shared his blog with me. In case you missed it earlier here is a portion of that post on how to take existing relationships and turn them into healthy mentor-ships:

My experience, as someone who has mentored and been mentored, has taught me that there are at least five components present in healthy mentor-ships. Let's look at them together.

Feed yourself:  Mentors must first consume a rich diet of truth if they want to invest in others. Frequent air travelers have memorized the safety guidelines instructing passengers to put on their own oxygen mask before attempting to help others. In the same way, you need to spend time with Jesus, feeding on his Word, to be prepared to point others to the Truth they're in need of. A lot of mentoring is digesting truth and feeding others who have not yet tasted it. Understanding God's word will also prepare you to deal with challenging situations that may arise while investing in another person's life.

Listen to their story: A mentor's hearts needs to be a safe place for people to unburden the contents of their own hearts. A lot of your time spent one on one should be in listening. People are hungry to be heard and understood. Because people were created for community there is a lot of comfort in being known. Healing and growth often come from processing past hurts and verbally working out solutions to problems. Having a trustworthy listener can be invaluable.

Ask questions: As people work through hurts, learn new concepts and broaden their understanding of truth, an important part of guiding them is through asking questions. A good mentor can see the big picture in a situation and ask questions to guide someone to that light-bulb moment. You could merely tell someone what you perceive the heart of an issue is or inform them of an action that needs to be taken, but if they are able to discover the truth themselves they will own it.

Share your story: At the appropriate time transparently sharing your own story is a healthy way to build trust in a growing relationship. Personal stories are good ways of offering perspective and helpful advice in a less intimidating and practical way. Sharing stories in ways that highlight God's faithfulness, empathize with brokenness or failure and remind of ever-present grace can bring hope to those you are caring for.

Give grace: Being in a mentoring relationship can be a vulnerable experience for both the mentor and the mentored. In these relationships sin is often exposed and dealt with, weaknesses identified, painful past experience may be brought up or fears confessed. An effective mentor will have learned to deal honestly with their weaknesses and have embraced their own need for grace. There is no situation beyond the reach of the Savior's redeeming power. Since he has chosen to extend mercy instead of judgment, that should be our posture as well.

I encourage you to prayerfully consider relationships in your own life that God may be calling you to develop into a mentor-ship. Some of my richest times with God have come as I rely on him for wisdom in shepherding another's heart. How about it, are you willing to take the plunge and come along side of someone that you see could use guidance?

Guest Posting at Introverted Church

I'm writing on a topic that is dear to my heart today, mentoring. Over the years I've had the privilege to be involved in a variety of mentoring relationships. In my post I share 5 components present in healthy mentor-ships. You can read my thoughts at "Introverted Church" where I have the privilege to guest post today. Hop on over and check it out! Be sure to let me know what you think.