Goodbye

I hear the whisper of eternity. A gentle whoosh between rooms, like a breeze of life, fluttering the gauzy curtain of matter between worlds. My grandma has put down her worn out tent and moved. I marvel that a woman I've known my whole existence, small and accented, has stepped into her true life. She is seeing with her own eyes the sweet Saving Face I long to see most of all. And while Heaven isn't her permanent home, anymore than a hotel is mine, she's one step closer. Resting in the dwelling place of God that will one day be joined with a perfectly restored, curse free world; it's more than I can imagine. (Revelation 21)

Heaven is dear to me because the One I love best is there, but the longer I live the more precious it becomes for it's containing others I love. One of my best friends lost her father-in-law this week as well. A dear man and good. Sorrow stalks us like a predator in this life. The only comfort I find for times like this is in a verse I've always felt a little odd. The shortest in the bible, so they say, but maybe one of the most tender. "Jesus wept," John 11:35. Why did he? There may be a number of reason but I think certainly one has to do with why he came to earth. He entered in to our experience. He became one of us. He has taken away the judgement associated with the curse of death but not the sorrow, the consequence, the daily struggle, or it's burden. Instead of removing death and grief and pain, he enters in.

Maria Eugenia Reyes Morton, a Latin beauty.

Grandma and my Dad.

I wish. Sad words aren't they. I wish I had known my Grandma better; all of my family for that matter. I wish she had known me better. I wish I had told her I loved her one more time. I wish I could have asked her more about her childhood. I wish she was a part of more of my memories.

I look forward to knowing my Grandma better in eternity. I want to be known and know. It's something the pull of this world left undone. Distance and difference. Relationships take work. In the New World I think relationships will be our primary work, relationship with God and each other, and the curse of this fallen world won't get in the way.

Me and Grandma, October 2010, the last time I saw her.

Grandma with Max and Maggie.

I think that's what I love most about the hope of eternity with Jesus. Everything is redeemed. The earth becomes what it was intended to be, our perfect home. God dwells with man once more, Heaven and a New Earth joining. My past is redeemed and I become who I was meant to be all along. And relationships are what we've always longed they could be; satisfying, deep, selfless. I want to know my Grandmother under those circumstances. In this life I was fighting the rip tide of distance, often living states apart. And sometimes in a big family it's hard to find your place, often we come of age and find our confidence too late.

Even so Grandma marked me. I think she opened my eyes to the beauty and accessibility of the world. Originally from Puerto Rico, she was a world traveler, her stories of distant places opened up a desire to see the treasures of this world with my own eyes. My personality is shaped by inherited genes, I got the chatty ones! As well as by choices, I'm thankful for my grandparent's faith in Jesus. And she gave me one of my greatest gifts in life, my Dad. Death is a humbling and sobering reminder that we are all linked, influencing and shaping generations. Even though her reality and mine have changed, I'm here and she's there, in some ways it remains the same. She and I are unified through the Holy Spirit. Alive in Christ, our inheritance is in him, love isn't really ever broken it's just transferred to a different location.


"He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” He said to me: “It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To the thirsty I will give water without cost from the spring of the water of life. Those who are victorious will inherit all this, and I will be their God and they will be my children." Revelation 21:5-7 


Thankful for what's been and hopeful for what's to come!